Learning to Love

by Lorraine Rose

Paperback, 140 pages.

Contents

Preface
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Before the Birth
The Birth
The First Six Weeks
Six to Twelve Weeks
Three to Six Months
Six to Nine Months
Nine to Twelve Months
The Continuing Story

Preface

This book is for women and men who are at the point in their
lives and their partnerships of thinking about having a baby.
I would like to help them on the wonderful rollercoaster ride
of being a parent with all its joys, exhilarations, sadness,
frustrations and just plain hard work. It is very worthwhile,
and there are enormous rewards for taking the ride.

Learning to Love seemed to emerge from the years of
time and effort that I put into trying to understand the early
developmental stages that we all go through. I have read extensively
about infant development and spent years observing infants
from birth, watching the development of the relationship with
the father. I have practised as a psychologist for 25 years,
and since the mid 1980s have worked intensively with a number
of people whose early bonding process was disturbed. This
area is something I have explored deeply, and although my
knowledge and experience remain imperfect I would like to
share the main features of my learning.

I also wrote this book because I would have liked it to exist
before I had my own child, so I could have read and understood
its concepts. It is my belief that if I had known then much
of what I do now I would have been a better mother myself,
and hence would have had a richer experience in rearing my
child. I wasn't a bad parent, but child-rearing could have
been a more meaningful and enjoyable experience for both me
and my daughter. So Learning to Love is also a book
for my daughter, in the hope that she may discover the fullness
of the experience of parenthood in a way that was not always
possible for me.

Introduction

It may be one of the most natural processes, but becoming
a parent can be as daunting as it is rewarding. Having a baby
changes everything, and the biggest area of change for new
parents is also one of the least explored: how do you relate
to this new person in your life?

Learning to Love explores the evolving relatinoship
between mother, father and baby.

Focusing on the first year of life, it looks at the emotional
dimension of becoming a parent, and offers an understanding
of the baby's emotional needs.

Also examined are:

• Key mental and emotional milestones in the first twelve
  months;
• Parents' changing relationship with each other as well
  as their baby;
• Growth of both the traditional and non-traditional family
  unit; and
• Case studies of common parenting dilemmas.

Based on infant observation, psychodynamic theory and personal
experience, Learning to Love is an informative, warm
and engaging book for the prospective and new parent.

Lorraine Rose is a psychologist and analytical psychotherapist
with 25 years experience. She has worked extensively with
mothers, fathers and babies, and is the founding member of
the Parent-Infant Foundation. She lives in Sydney with her
partner and has an adult daughter.

"This book helps you find your own way of dealing with
your baby rather than telling you what to do. It made me more
aware of the bonding process that takes place between you
and the baby."
- Alison Hunder, mother of Finn, five months

"Learning to Love is an exceptionally helpful,
insightful look at the first year of a baby's life. Illuminating..."
- Anne Manne, journalist and mother